imagine

I was imagining my answers on the application form
The questions for the advanced training externship
Complex conditions to consider what I’d do
with hypothetical case studies,
Attention to details and clinical reasoning and analysis and imagination
Picturing the person and what is affecting them and how I could help

It felt awesome
As if I were shifting into a higher gear
Like I was applying the training I’ve already taken
and I wasn’t holding back
Maybe I didn’t have to be small
Perhaps I didn’t pretend to be less than I was anymore
and I was free to make decisions and take action that would do some good

I wasn’t trying to meet anyone’s approval
to avoid rocking their boat
or to not inconvenience anyone
even at the cost of myself
In my imagination I was free to come up with new ideas

I didn’t need to be small anymore